There’s not a singular solution to managing our ADHD. It can't just be medication. We need more than just therapy. It’s not about getting enough exercise, getting the right supplements, or even just having a positive support system. And while these are all integral to managing our ADHD, the biggest thing neurodivergent people need:
Is a change in the mindset of the world.
Many of us have been told all of our lives that we are broken or damaged, that we are losers, and are consumed by perceived mistakes. We have been told constantly that we do not live up to our potential. We have either achieved huge success, or crashed and burned. We have bounced from relationship to relationship, or we live alone, fearing rejection. Our lives are chaotic and we live in constant fear of failure.
That’s not a failing because of our ADHD.
ADHD makes things difficult for us, yes. But ADHD is just a different way of thinking. There is different wiring in our brains. Some even consider it a different neurotype. However, the world's refusal to accept neurodivergence is the true problem.
Doctors and scientists have classified it as a disorder or mental illness, but those are simply clinical terms. Semantics. We aren’t broken. We aren’t damaged. Our brains simply process things differently than others. There are genetic, neurochemical, and physiological differences in our brains, and there’s no real certainty as to a singular cause. Our biggest issue is that we are forced to deal with unrealistic expectations by our society that ignores and stigmatizes ADHD, especially Adult ADHD. We exist, but our society treats us as if we shouldn’t.
That’s their failure. Not ours.
We deal with an education system that doesn’t show us how to discover and use our strengths or how to work around our limitations. Our children have learned from their parents that anything that is “different” is suspect, and our teachers do not have the time to help children with ADHD. Many schools do not even have the resources to help neurodivergent kids.
That’s their failure. Not ours.
We deal with a societal system that minimizes the pain and disabilities caused by mental health. Many doctors and therapists are either ignorant of Adult ADHD or do not know how to help us.
That’s their failure. Not ours.
Because of all of this, many people with ADHD have comorbidities from a lifetime of trauma, such as: depression, anxiety, and PTSD. Criticisms and negativity from parents, teachers, peers, and even our spouses, give our Rejection Sensitivity Dysphoria and Imposter Syndrome the ammunition that they need to turn our very minds against ourselves. Sometimes the negativity is in ignorance, but most of the time it is intentional, to hurt us, because our mental health is seen as a weakness.
That’s their failure. Not ours.
The failure isn’t in us, nor in having ADHD, it’s in our society’s inability to understand and celebrate neurodiversity and our differences.
Our lives can be what we make them. They can be amazing, but only after we learn that there is no such thing as "normal". Normal is nothing more than a social construct. We can live a happier life, but only after we work with therapists, get medicated if we can, and build up a support system and an environment where we can thrive. But we can do it.
It's not us, as neurodivergent people with ADHD, to bear the burden of shame.
The fact is that the world around us needs a mindset change.
If you need someone to talk to about how to find your way through our society, book a Discovery session and let’s work together to make a lasting change in managing your ADHD.
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